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.Carol howled.I couldn't help but laugh.My feet were size ten blocks of ice even in the summer.Mark leaned over and kissed me.Debate over.We finished lunch with lighter hearts and headed out to the parking lot.Carol took one look at the subcompact and said, "This is a joke, right?""Nope," I replied."You two have been driving around in that thing?"We nodded.Carol continued to stare at the car."So, this thing's not going to blow up on me when I get in, is it?""Probably not," Mark said, holding the door open for her.Carol grimaced as she folded herself in."You're definitely going to owe me a karaoke evening after this, Diana."Ugh! Not that.But I smiled and nodded.Anything that got us out of that poor excuse for a car.CHAPTER FIFTEENThe smell of roasting meat assailed my nostrils as we bumped down the long, rutted lane to my sister's light blue double-wide.It wasn't unpleasant and definitely not unexpected.My brother-in-law made Grizzly Adams look like a wimp.If he had his way, my sister and he would be living off the land in a cabin in Alaska.Unfortunately for him, my sister pretty much wore the pants in the family, and she may be okay with dead animals in her yard, but she wasn't budging on indoor plumbing.We'd each inherited a chunk of change from our Great Aunt Betty.I'd put mine down on a tiny condo in Annapolis, and my sister had bought two acres of land a few miles from our childhood home and plunked down an ostentatious double-wide.In this neck of the woods, it was considered a real dream home, complete with fake wood paneling, garden tub, and built-in stereo system.Despite having met all of my family at different events, this was Mark's first visit to Ashley's.We'd see how excited he was about staying for a few days once he got a look around.We pulled up beside my sister's minivan.I looked into the backyard and groaned."What?" Mark asked.I pointed."It's deer season.Looks like he got one."Ashley's backyard looked like a photo shoot for a hunting magazine.Two deer targets were strategically placed in the yard.Archery gear lay strewn about in untidy heaps.The highlight of the scene was a headless carcass tied by the feet to a low hanging tree branch.My brother-in-law gave us a bloody wave.He was shirtless and wearing a big white butcher's apron, surgical gloves, and hunting boots."Ain't she a beauty?" he bellowed."He looks like a surgeon just finishing up a heart transplant," Mark remarked, waving back."I was thinking serial killer.""I can see that," Mark agreed."Hope he's got something on under that apron.""You never can tell."We walked towards him as he continued to wave."Hey, there, Sis! Good to see the boogeyman ain't gotcha yet," he guffawed."Thanks, Dan."He put a bloody hand to his side and pulled back the long apron.Thankfully, he was wearing a pair of cut off work pants underneath.He pointed to a holstered gun."I got your back, Sis.Anyone come out here makin' funny business, and I'll exercise my God given rights right between their eyes." He spit a stream of tobacco on the ground."Your sister's got a loaded shotgun by the backdoor.They ain't gettin' far if they come on this here property."Mark raised an eyebrow."You have a permit to carry?""Sure do.Easier than ya might think," Dan replied proudly."I can see that."Ashley came out the screened porch wiping her hands on a rag.Her nutty yellow Lab, Sally, galloped towards me.Oh, no.Not again."Look out, Sis," Dan warned."That dog's got her eye on ya."Sally loved me so much that she felt the need to demonstrate her devotion to me by licking my face even if it meant tackling me.Which is what usually happened.Sure enough Sally took a flying leap at me, but this time I was ready.I dodged to the side, and she missed.Her big paws connected squarely with Mark's gut."What the—" Mark sucked in his breath and went down with a thump.Sally proceeded to lick his face and stomp all over his chest.Her tail wagged furiously."Looks like she likes you, Uncle Mark."Max came trotting down from the porch towards me.He looked a little worse for wear, but his tail was wagging, and he reached up to give me a hug.Yes.The dog actually gave hugs.I hugged him to me."You smell like bacon and perfume." I looked at his face.Uh-oh."What happened to your hair, boy?"He sat back down and gave me a loud bark.My sister walked over."Tiffany decided to give him a makeover.She talked him into it with bacon.I'm guessing he's wearing my perfume." Ashley took a closer look."And my lipstick.""Look at his fur, Ashley.Half his beard is gone.""Yeah.She put in pony tails which seemed okay, but then she got hold of a pair of scissors." Ashley sighed."You should see her hair."I rolled my eyes and counted to ten."I don't care about her hair.Look what she did to my dog." Max's normally long, fluffy white beard had been cut to the chin on one side and left hanging on the other."He looks ridiculous.""So have the groomer even it up.""Even it up? Really?""He's just a dog.He doesn't know he looks stupid."Max growled, and we both looked down at him.He glared at Ashley and whined at me.I bent down and picked him up."We'll make you pretty again, boy.It's okay." I decided to let it go for now since I was at her sisterly mercy for the next couple I days.Instead, I brought Ashley up to speed on the search for Andre and Marsha.Mark walked over to join the conversation and did a double-take."Geez! What happened to him?""Tiffany gave him a makeover." I put Max down."Might want to steer her away from beautician school, Ashley," Mark replied."No shit, Mark.""It's like we're related already," Mark quipped."Really? Because I didn't take you for the marrying kind."Ouch! I felt a little sorry for Mark.But this was his idea."That's why I'm here," he spread his arms wide."You're going to show me what I'm missing, right?"Ashley snorted and started to reply when Dan cut in."Hey, hon, get me a plate.I'm gonna pull out the tenderloins.Grill 'em for Sis tonight."He gave us a big grin and held out a thick stringy piece of meat.Ashley turned on her heel without a word and headed for the kitchen."Nice one." I smiled at Mark
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