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.When we want to buy something we want a voice appears in our head saying "no you can't affordthat" or "shouldn't you buy something more useful?" When we want to talk to a girl or apply for ajob a voice in our head says "don't."We are unconsciously embedding the word no into our minds.Whatever it is that we want we areoften the first person to talk ourselves out of it.We tell ourselves all of the same excuses that ourparents told us, or our teachers or relatives told us."You're too young" "You only wind up breaking it" "You'll hurt yourself" "You'll lose it" "Youhave to be fair" "You can't afford it." "You can get it next year"How can you ever get what you really want if you are your own biggest obstacle in achieving it?The step to reversing this is to practice saying yes to yourself.Apply for a job that you have noqualifications for.Order whatever it is you want on the menu regardless of price.Get in the habitof allowing yourself to have the things you want.This will set precedence.It will reshape the wayyou live your life.If you didn't have yourself in your ear telling you "no" how many more girlswould you have approached? How many more classes would you have taken? Jobs applied for?Friends made? Even if you only achieved a fraction of the extra dreams you went for, how muchwould this have improved your life?Bobby Rio Freepuaopeners.com Page 42 Confidential Social Intelligence ManuscriptIt only takes one great employer to give you a chance despite your shoddy resume, or one beautifulwomen to fall in love with you, or one professor to see your hidden brilliance in a subject.and bamyour life is changed.Eliminate Your Crutch/Burn Your ShipsTo fully develop unstoppable inner game and the winning attitude it is necessary to burn our shipsand get rid of our crutches.This means that quitting a dead end part time job and focusing 100% on your dream.It meanscutting off your "booty call" and finding a girl that inspires you.It means going for broke.It also means eliminating your crutches&.For some guys their crutch is video games, some guys its porn, for some guys it fantasy football.Crutches are things that we use to avoid reality.They are the place that we crawl back to avoidfacing defeat in other areas.While there is nothing wrong with having a hobby& the problem arises when you hide yourself inyour hobby.Do you really enjoy playing World of Warcraft 7 hours a day& or is it easier thanadmitting to yourself that you're scared to talk to girls, or apply yourself.The hardest thing I ever had to do a few years back was quit the restaurant I was working in.Thejob provided me with a solid wad of cash every week, close friends, and unlimited females to interactwith and date.Yet, I knew deep inside that if I kept working there I would stay comfortable andnever achieve my goals of running a successful business or publishing a book.Quitting the job not only meant burning my ships (as the job provided me with money, friends, anddates) but it also meant eliminating my crutch.At the time, whenever I experienced a set back at thereal estate agency I working out, or got frustrated with the screenplay I was writing, I would headover to the restaurant and drink with my buddies.All was always good there.You have to find out what your ships and crutches are.and then burn them.Push yourself past your comfort zone dailyLook at yourself like a rubber band.The objective is to stretch yourself into the largest and greatestrubber band of all time.How do you achieve this?This push yourself one step further every day.It doesn't matter what your comfort zone is any area,it is just important that you push yourself past it daily.Bobby Rio Freepuaopeners.com Page 43 Confidential Social Intelligence ManuscriptNot only does this help you grow as a person, but it makes your life exciting.You'll begin to lookforward to each day as you'll find yourself continually surprising yourself.Life will no longer seemrepetitive.You won't feel trapped.Things won't get boring.It is important that you push yourself past at least one comfort zone daily.If you are trying toconquer shyness, make an effort to initiate one more conversation every day.If you don't have theopportunity to initiate an extra conversation, then say something unexpected in one of theconversations you are involved in.Say something that surprises you.If you're going to the gym, crank out an extra rep or two, run an extra minute, add a bit moreresistance.If you're working on a project, think outside the box.Try something zany even if itdoesn't work this time it will train your mind to look for new ways of doing things.Embrace Your PassionsI will go more into detail about embracing your passions in the section on being an interestingperson.But in this section I just want to remind you that the more inspired you are on the inside,the more it shows on the outside.When you find something that drives you& go with it.Let itdrive you.Let it power you.Having a solid, energizing reason to get out of bed every morning doesamazing things for your self esteem.How do you find your passion? Think to yourself "what would I be doing if I suddenly won $150million in the lottery.Don't jump at the first thought that comes into your mind.Really dwell on it.Really get inside your mind, imagine you have this money, this freedom, and then envision yourselfin different scenarios.What sparks you?Most people think if they won that kind of money that they would want to retire on a beachsomewhere& but often when they really think of it, they'll decide something completely different.Maybe they decide they want to write children's books, or open a bar where they know everyone, orvolunteer for worthy causes, or travel the world, or paint, or write music, or train for the Olympics.The trick is to find whatever you would do if time and money were not an object and do it now.Sure, you might not be able to do it in the same capacity now, but plant the seed of passion in yourmind.If you would write children's books& start writing one now.Spend an hour every nightwriting.You might find that hour becomes your most cherished of the day.If you want to travelthe world& pick one place right now and set a goal to visit it.Once you visit that place, set a goalto visit another place.You'll often find that achieving life goals and dreams doesn't cost nearly as much as you think.InTim Ferriss's book The Four Hour Work Week he gives an exercise called Dreamlining whichallows you to see approximately how much money you will need to make to finance your dreams
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