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.This was not howthe night was supposed to go.But then again, when had anything ever really gone asplanned?I wanted to get into a fight.I wanted to feel the rush of adrenaline and thepounding fear of living on the edge of life and death.I understood what it meant tofade in and out of the realms of darkness.The emotions I felt now, the turmoil of who Iground.A breeze cut through me, and I pulled myself out of the storm that was takingover my mind.I headed back toward the club, but Carlos was already at the door withhe looked like he was about rlike it was blowing right through me.Sooner or later I was going to let it blow me rightover the edge, and then what? It would be my fault for not being strong enough.Lloyd was playing again.I could hear his soulful voice in the distance.He wasscreaming into the mike, howling out his misery.* * * *I had traded in my melancholy for my all too familiar fury and said through Talking about what had just happened was the last thing I wanted to do.I walkedinto the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge.downing a quarter of it.yourfor something to do anything.apped and turned to his stereo system.I knew I wasCarlos.But I wanted a fight.I wanted something, anything, to make me feel alive.elt the first dangerous eddy of power roll overme.was just looking for something to wash out the noise.Carlos slammed his finger into the stereo and turned it off before he grabbed myHis eyes had brightened until they were like two full moons, the color of wheatfields.As beautiful as they were, I knew they were a warning sign of the beast about tobe unleashed. help you, but even after all theseThat was a bitter slap.I had been trying real hard to open myself to him.But afteryears of being self reliant, of not trusting anyone, it was hard to open myself upcompletely.There were days I was sure Carlos would walk out.I threw my power at him and gave him a hard shove, sending himstumbling back across the living roomCarlos snarled, and I saw the first sign of him losing his hold on his inner coyote.In a flash he closed the distance between us.I moved to get out of the way, but he wastoo fast for me.He slammed me against the wall, my head cracking against it, and hisfist came down.He punched a hole into the wall an inch from my head.His breathing was heavy,and his eyes were so bright they seemed to glow.His eyes darkened, their chocolate color returning like a black cloud eclipsing theMy heart clenched, and the adrenaline that tingled over my body washed away ina cold plunge.Carlos kept his eyes downcast as he pulled away and walked to thebedroom.away.That thought alone made it hard to breathe.My body reacted before my mind could catch up with everything.I threw thebottle of beer at him, narrowly missing his head.The glass bottle shattered on impact,and suds rolled down the white wall in a frothy trail. Carlos turned around and stahappened.defense mechanism had been switched on.I rubbed my hands together, everything balling up inside me until the frustrationricocheted against my bones, shattering me from the inside.My throat closed up, andmy tongue turned to stone.I swallowed a lumpHis eyes felt like they were peeling away the layers of my soul, and I wanted tohide from his stare.I pressed the heel of my right hand against my eye and squeezedtryingMaybe my parents had been right.Maybe I was a demon, and everything Itouched turned to ash.Was it selfish of me to keep holding on to Carlos? I had let Lloyd go, so was it toomuch to ask to keep Carlos?howthen letHe led me into the bedroom.Moonlight pooled over the floor from the window,the only light in the room.He let go of my hand and walked to the window, closing theblinds so a thick blackness settled in the room.I stood at the door, blind as a bat for a moment as my eyes adjusted to thedarkness. I took a seat on the edge of the bed.His power had abated, receding back into hisbody.He opened his closet and sorted through it.back as he crouched down and pulled something out.When he rose back up, I couldmake out something black in his hand.It looked like a blindfold.finger.Without a word he slid the blindfold on, obscuring my vision.My sensesautomatically spiked, honing in on everything around me.It was a natural instinct I hadbuilt up, and Carlos knew it.He moved away, and I turned my head, my hands itching to pull the blindfoldaway.Carlos purred again, and it was a strange sound to hear from a dog.The bed lowered as he slid on it behind me.He slowly ran his hands over myshoulders, digging in deep to help relieve some of the tension.I groaned at the feel ofmy muscles being worked.Obviously my instincts needed to be trained a bit more, because I was oblivious toa challenge that needs to be conquered, a battle that needs to be won
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