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.But even seeing Ferron give his fiancée a cool goodbye kiss and watching theproprietary way Tara hugged him wasn t as bad as what happened later.* * * * *The day before graduation, the Admiral of the Fleet himself came to the Academyto meet them.He offered Ferron a commission of the highest order on the spot and toldChaz that a similar spot would be waiting for him when he graduated.He even broughta new partner along for Ferron, a tall, handsome gunner named Paul Jorgensen withlight brown hair and knowing hazel eyes.Jorgensen s own pilot had recently left theFleet, leaving him stranded and in need of a new partner, the Admiral explained.Andeven though Ferron was fresh out of the Academy, he couldn t think of a better matchfor one of his best gunners.I can think of a better match, Chaz thought, watching as his former partner shookhands with his new gunner.He could tell by the look in Jorgensen s eyes, by the way hegave Ferron a frankly sexual appraisal as his hand lingered too long during the145 Evangeline Andersonhandshake that he wouldn t mind being topped by the dark, scarred pilot.Jorgensenwouldn t withhold himself in any way or accuse Ferron of taking what he didn t wantto give no, he would give it freely.Hell, from the lascivious look in his eyes, hewouldn t have minded dropping to his knees and blowing his new pilot on the spot,Chaz thought sourly.He tried to stop the jealousy that gnawed at his soul like a rat butit was impossible and the flow of bitter thoughts continued.Nothing latent about him, his mind pointed out as he stared at Jorgensen.It wasobvious that the new gunner was secure in his masculinity and his sexuality at the sametime the complete opposite of Chaz.He wouldn t care if anyone said he was gay orcalled him a faggot.He probably didn t have a girlfriend waiting at home whom he wasno longer attracted to.And he wouldn t refuse to admit what he was, Chaz thoughtbitterly.No doubt Jorgensen would throw himself wholeheartedly into a relationshipwith another man and tell the world to go fuck itself if they didn t like it.He watched as Ferron nodded back and smiled, holding the other man s hand in hisown as he held his gaze, the promise of what was to come growing between them.Hewatched them together and there was nothing he could do about it but nod and smile,nod and smile, like the idiot he was.Never mind that the smile plastered on his face feltfake and plastic and his jaw muscles ached from holding it in place.Never mind that hewanted to scream.Wanted to punch Ferron s new gunner in the mouth and stomp onhis head.Never mind any of that it was important to put up a good front and pretendhe didn t care, even to himself, that Ferron was leaving.Or that was what Chaz toldhimself.Over and over again.The night before the graduation ceremonies he sat on the bed and stared at hishands, wishing he still had the straight razor he d thrown down the laundry chute thenight he d taken it from Ferron.Then at least he would have a way to end his pain.Thepain he told himself he didn t feel even though it was eating him up inside.Ferron was long gone, having moved to a new room by himself weeks ago at hisown request.He was a hero now he could have pretty much anything he wanted anda single room wasn t apparently too much to ask.Chaz knew he could have gotten justabout anything he wanted too from special meals to a trip Earth-side to see his familybut he couldn t make himself want anything.Anything but Ferron.I don t care that he s gone, Chaz thought for the millionth time and tried to makehimself believe it.What he did was inexcusable unforgivable.He hurt me and he s leaving.And I ll be damned if I sit here and cry about it.Standing, he decided to go work out in thezero-g room.He d only been there once before with Ferron since it was reservedexclusively for upperclassmen but he was a hero now and no doors were closed to him.Might as well take advantage of it while it lasts, he thought gloomily.He was almost to the door when he heard a strangely familiar voice just outside it. Well, hello, faggot, it said, the nasally tone rising to put emphasis on the lastword. You re just the person I wanted to see. Chaz frowned.That can t be who I think it is can it? What the hell is he doing here?146 Broken Boundaries Hello, Burns, what are you doing here? I thought you were Earth-side taking anextended vacation in prison. The other voice was unmistakably Ferron s and Chazfelt a sudden fluttering in his stomach
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